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Six Tell-tale (and Funny) Signs That You're Addicted To Christmas
By Noel Jameson
In case you didn't know it -- it is possible to be addicted to Christmas. Certainly, some level of excitement over is normal, but at what point does it border on unhealthy (or even insane)?
For many individuals, a addiction poses a greater threat than getting run over by a reindeer. If you want to know what the top six signs of being addicted to are, read on...
#1 -- Boycotting Anti-Santa Malls
If you refuse to shop at a mall that doesn't have a Santa on duty at all times, you're probably suffering from a addiction. (Reality check: Once you hit the age of 7 or 8, you probably don't need to get your photo taken sitting on Santa's lap!)
#2 -- Spiking Your Eggnog?
If you need spiked eggnog just to make it through your shopping marathon, it's a telltale sign that you're probably addicted to Christmas.
#3 -- Desperately Seeking the North Pole
If you've tried Googling directions from your house to the North Pole five times and still aren't sure how to get to Santa's house, you are probably addicted to Christmas.
#4 -- Expecting Mail from Santa
If you check your mail everyday hoping Santa sent you a letter, you should seek help to deal with your addiction.
#5
-- Taking the Theme Too Far
If you sleep on red and green plaid sheets and wear red and green pajamas with socks and underwear decorated with Santa every night beginning on December 1 until Eve, you are definitely addicted to (and you should really keep that secret to yourself).
#6 -- Identity Issues
Finally, if you've submitted a name-change application to legally change your last name to Clause (and you're getting all new monogrammed towels embroidered with a red and green ?S? and ?C?), you have some serious addiction issues.
What Is the Solution for Addiction?
Eat two wreath cookies each and every day until December 25th and call me in the morning. It has been documented that addiction rapidly subsides at 11:59 p.m. on December 25. Take your cookies, drink plenty of eggnog, and wait it out until then. Noel Jameson LOVES Christmas. Whether you need help finding gifts or you want tips about decorations, crafts, or even humor, check out her entertaining and impassioned blog at www.Christmasrants.com
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