What could be more exciting than getting a phone call from Santa? Not much, because Santa phone calls are one of the highlights of the Christmas season. However, if you are into the physical world of shopping, there is one thing that comes close. Black Friday is the one day of the year that you can actually get away with some of the most aggressive shopping techniques known to woman. This includes the toe stomp, the shopping cart shove, and the escalator rail slide into a crowd maneuvers that have been developed specifically with this event in mind. Here are some tips to read to gain the edge, hold the upper hand, or just survive the perils of…BLACK FRIDAY!

To conquer the beast, first, you have to understand the beast. Black Friday is the first shopping day of the year that retailers look forward to as they slash the prices of last year’s merchandise. They open early and close late. Women flood the stores in hopes of getting the best deals and will shop until midnight when the very last store closes and the event ends. Emergency rooms are flooded, fire houses are emptied, and some husbands huddle by the phone eating peanut butter sandwiches and waiting for the call that their wives are okay.

The key to survival is one of aggression and any woman who has ever participated can tell you that a good offense is a great defense. One way to get what you want is to take one of the many training course offered before the sale to show women how to play the game like a man. There are elbow crushes to the ribs, leg trips, and judo body throws being honed as early as August in anticipation of the upcoming sale My personal favorite is the grab the glasses off of your competitor and crush the lens under your heel, or the slide down the escalator rail and hurling your body into the crowd below, regaining your feet quicker than a wink to get a heads start.

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Now that I am fifty years old, the list of things that I want for Christmas has become much shorter than it was, say, ten or twenty years ago. I would Imagine, as I grow older, the list of things that I include in my letters to Santa would become shorter still. Now my Santa letters consist mostly of lists of creature comforts more than toys and games. This raises the question, how do you shop for someone who either has everything he really wants or wants nothing that he does not already have? This article is comprised of gift ideas for someone who is either hard to shop for or would prefer a warm sweater to a playstaion 3.

Speaking of warm sweaters, it is a great gift for someone who is older and gets cold easily. I know that my arthritis pains me to no end when it becomes cold outside. The winters I used to love so much have turned on me like a bitter love. A nice, comfortable sweater is just the ticket when my shoulders and elbows start to ache. However, I resent being given sweaters that have pictures of the holiday on them because it restricts the days that I can fashionably wear them. I am not particularly worried about what other people think but the people who accompany me anywhere are often times mortified if I go to lunch with them on Valentines day with a snowman on my sweater. Do not ask me why.

Another gift that I will cherish in my declining years are socks, shoes like moccasins, or very warm slippers. Even underwear is a great gift simply because it keeps me from having to spend my security checks on these items later in the year. This frees up my money for prescription medications and deductibles. In which case, if you are worried that this kind of gift would be embarrassing for either you or your elderly loved one, give them money. We will never complain about a check in a Christmas card. Upon that, I can attach a guarantee.

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Just when I thought that there would never be any hope of hearing something good about the state of Alabama, they go and win themselves a National Championship in College football. While they do not have a pro team of their own…yet, they have produced such players as Hershel Walker, Lionel James, James Brooks, and Bo Jackson. There is something else they produced that affects almost every man woman and child on almost the entire planet…, Christmas. Alabama is the first state to celebrate Christ’s Birthday on December 25th. I found out from my letter from Santa. IF anyone would know, it is the little guy with the big belly. In fact, my Santa letter was full of fun and insightful information. Here are just a few of the things I learned from my letter from Santa.

When Jesus was born, a new star rose in the east, heralding to the kingdoms of the world the birth of the King of Kings. Upon seeing this glorious sight, three wise kings gathered their entourages and headed towards the star bearing gifts to lay before him, each man from a different kingdom but sharing the same vision. They met on the road somewhere along the way and when they learned they were on the same glorious quest, they decided to travel together. Can you imagine the excitement these three wise men must have felt? It took them twelve days before they reached the baby Jesus, hence, the twelve days of Christmas.

English Parliament made Christmas illegal. They thought that revelry and partying down into the night was no way to honor the birth of Christ. It was Oliver Cromwell, A puritan leader who banished Christmas. Sixteen years later, when he finally lost power, the voice of the people was heard and the Christmas holiday became official. The people thought that having a feast and partying into the night was the perfect way to celebrate a birthday especially that of someone whose life changed the world forever. Let’s face it, conquering death and paving the way for all of mankind to someday be with the Father is something to celebrate!

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Being Santa is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. If it was not bad enough that he builds millions of toys and then travels around the world in one night to deliver them, he also has many other duties that we do not know about. There are decisions that have to be make that could change people’s lives. The naughty and nice list alone is such a daunting task that we could not do it ourselves. In fact, it would take 200 ordinary people working 24 hours a day every day for a year to go through the list once and even then, Santa would have to do it again. A single day I the life of Santa would wear a person out so completely that they would be in bed for a week. Here are five things that no one knew about Santa Clause. (Until now)

Santa Clause is a great explorer. He has traveled around the world many times during the Christmas off-season in disguise. He has also traveled under the world. Santa Clause discovered a great cave beneath our world that has thousands of miles of tunnels. He chose to live at the North Pole because of one of these tunnels. You see, he discovered that directly under the North Pole there is a place where time stands still because this is where the polar opposites meet. If you hold two magnets close to each other, they repel each other. It is impossible to put two strong magnets together. Santa built a room around the spot where the earth’s magnetic forces meet. Time does not move inside this room. This is where Santa checks the naughty and nice lists.

Santa Clause has the largest collection of books in the world. He has an underground library where he goes to read and loves to collect books from all over the world. He has the highest I.Q. of anyone on the planet. Santa can read faster than anyone in the world and has read an entire set of encyclopedia in less than an hour.

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While it is unclear how the tradition of writing Santa letters started, getting letters from Santa is a relatively new concept that has caught on. Children get very excited when they receive a Santa letter. A child who gets a personalized letter from Santa will carry that Christmas spirit right through the holidays. Here are more Christmas traditions.

The name Santa Clause is derived from the Dutch Sinter Klaas. When Dutch immigrants first started to arrive at Liberty Island in New York, Americans mispronounced it Santa Clause because of our mixed up accents and the name spread with the legend and stuck. Originally known as Saint Nicholas, he was well known for his love of and generosity towards children. He is actually the patron saint of children and sailors.

The Christmas stocking that good old Saint Nick fills with candy and toys every year came from the days when poor children with only one or possible two pairs of socks to their name would have to rinse them in water and hang them or lay them by the fire to dry at night. Back in those days, almost everyone had a fireplace or pit because that was the only means of cooking and staying warm. Early Santa started by dropping three coins down the chimney with one coin landing in each of the children’s stockings that hung there to dry. This eventually evolved to Santa stopping by the fireplace, window, or other designated Christmas stocking area and filling it to bursting with fruit, candy, and small toys.

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Myth Number One states that if a child is good all year and he writes a Santa letter, he or she will receive a letter from Santa. The myth is TRUE. Many children have received letters from Santa Clause. There are, however, stipulations to this rule that have to be understood and met. For instance, Santa Clause, as we all know, is a very busy fella. He has millions of toys to make and oversee the making of, and he has to stay right on top of things in order for the North Pole to run smoothly. He has the naughty and nice list, which he has to check twice, by the way. If you are on the naughty list, you may not get a letter from Santa, although there have been exceptions to that rule. Also, you have to ask Santa Clause in your letter if you can find the time, would he mind writing you back. If you do not ask, he will assume that you do not want him to and he is very busy so give him some time.

Myth number two states that animals talk to each other at midnight on Christmas Eve. This Myth is also TRUE. Animals all over the world have a small window of opportunity to speak at exactly midnight on Christmas Eve. The reason so very few people have heard this is because most animals do not have anything to say that they have not already said in their own language. The ones that do speak take the opportunity to wish each other Merry Christmas. Animals will not speak if they know you are listening. In 1919, Dairy farmer John Miller of Papillion Nebraska was standing quietly outside his barn at midnight of Christmas Eve when all the cows started wishing each other Merry Christmas. He told everyone what he heard but no one believed him and people laughed, calling him “that crazy farmer that talks to cows” for many years.

Myth number three says that once you are on the naughty list, you are there to stay for the rest of the year. This myth is FALSE. Santa Clause checks the naughty and nice list twice, once in March and once in early December. If you were bad and are on the list in march but have since been good and have made up for your bad actions, Santa will take you off the naughty list and put you back on the nice list. The trick, however, is to be nice all the time. This way, you never have to worry about it.

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There are many little unique things that we do every year when trying to make Christmas special for our little ones. We do not get that many opportunities as our children grow up so fast and we are lucky to get ten good years to create that special Christmas magic for them. Everyone has heard of writing letters to Santa but few ever think to make Santa phone calls. Why stop at a letter when your children can make Santa calls on Christmas Eve to let him know that they have been very good this year and ask him what kind of cookies you should bake for him. This could lead to Santa dropping something special in that Christmas morning stocking. Here are a few of Santa’s tricks and secrets, letting you in on how he always knows the perfect stocking stuffers to light up those little faces.

Does your child already have a favorite toy that can be extended or added upon? This is one of the things that Santa takes into account when he drops down that chimney with all those toys. He knows, for instance, that little Tommy has a Hot Wheels set that he just adores and of which he takes great care. There are lots of kids who have these toys so Santa carries a bunch of extra Hot Wheels cars that come in individual packages. Children save these and some kids have an entire collection of cool and hard to find classics. Just a little bit of research lets Santa know exactly which Hot Wheels or Matchbox cars or trucks little Tommy already has.

If there is one thing that Barbie loves to do, it is to pop out of your little angel’s stocking on Christmas morning and give her a great big hug! In fact, Barbie loves this so much that just a few years ago, she was the most popular stocking stuffer for little girls on the planet. (Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars and trucks were number one for little boys!) More often than not, if Barbie had a previous engagement on Christmas morning, like under or on the tree, her clothes, furniture, and other accessories would turn up there instead.

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Santa Phone Calls are becoming more popular now that we can reach him. Until now, Santa calls were impossible, as there were no phones at the North Pole that were above ground. There is a new trend sweeping over the planet. Gone are the days when the only way we can communicate with Santa is through cards and letters. Thanks to a joint effort between The United States, Canada, The Soviet Union, Japan, and China, we can now call St Nick on the telephone. Internet ushered in the days of email and paved the way for wireless communication to such a degree that you could reach anyone almost anywhere. The problem was that no matter what we did, we could not overcome the problems that the magnetic North Pole created. While there is internet at the North Pole, it is only in Christmas Towne and is not connected to the outside world. The Magnetic pole will not let the signal through.

This is no longer a problem as the countries named above, along with several others have finally completed project “Santa Calls.” For the last several years, these nations finally got together and at Santa’s request, worked around the clock stringing phone lines. The destination was the North Pole and the work took many years to complete. It was funded by these governments so that we would be able to communicate with Santa and take the burden off the United States Postal Service and the postal services of the other countries, which were starting to show the strain of keeping up with the demands of an ever-growing population.

The most difficult part, according to workers, was reaching Christmas Towne, which as most people know, is buried about a mile underground. Santa phone calls would never be possible without finding a way to run the lines to Christmas Town. Fortunately, that part was taken care of for us as elves worked their way up to the surface while we worked to get across the frozen tundra and flowing ice.

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On television, when you see people having fun at Christmas time, it usually involves snow. Kids are playing in the sow, having snowball fights and building snowmen. Mom and Dad sit by a roaring fire and drink hot cocoa as the snow falls outside the window. We watch longingly as people ice skate on frozen ponds and fly down hills on sleds. We wonder what it would be like to go riding in the snow on a horse drawn sleigh. All of these things are wonderful, to be sure. However, not everyone lives somewhere that it snows every Christmas and many live where it never snows at all. Even so, there are activities that you can be involved with that help to make the seasons bright. Here are a few things you can do at Christmastime without snow.

You do not have to have snow to go on a sleigh ride. Many churches and other organizations hold hay rides during the Christmas season that can be just as much fun as any snowbound sleigh ride. The fun is not in the snow but in the company that you keep. Getting together with other people and having fun is part of what makes Christmas so special. Hitching up a horse and traveling through the woods and across fields while singing Christmas carols is a great Christmas activity that can be shared and enjoyed by the whole family. The best place to do this, by the way, is on farms that have huge pumpkin patches!

Christmas carols lift the heart and the spirit and make us fell good. Getting together with friend and family and going door to door in your neighborhood as a group of carolers is fun. Many people enjoy having carolers come to their house and sing to them, This is especially great if you have older couples or an elderly person who does not get out much. You can really liven up the lives of shut ins who cannot get out and do the things that they used to do.

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There is a tradition that parents love to pass down to our smaller children at Christmas time that gives us an extra special feeling. Like Santa letters, it is fun and allows us to participate with our kids during the event making even more special. We get a kick from watching the Christmas cartoons that many of us grew up with take on new meaning when we can share it with our children, especially if it is their first time. It is as exciting as receiving letters from Santa. Here is a short list of the best of them and why they were chosen.

Number 5 is an all time favorite with a delightful moral of perseverance, kindness, and selflessness. Santa Claus is Coming to Town is extra special because it is narrated by the extraordinary actor and dancer Mr. Fred Astaire. This marvelous, one hour, Rankin Bass production chronicles the life and times of that most famous and jolly old elf…, that’s is right, good old Saint Nicolas himself. This cartoon goes all out to answer as many questions as possible within an hour and still be entertaining. Fred Astaire is delightful as a mail carrier in the North Pole and that old wizard, voiced by Keenan Wynn really rocked. A very creative show that your children are sure to love.

The fourth spot on our list of top 5 Christmas Cartoons that you can share with your children is the popular story of Frosty the Snowman. Frosty’s voice is that of Jackie Vernon, until he sings and Jimmy Durante takes over. Jimmy Durante also handles the main narration of this classic, giving it such a wonderfully original feel that you just cannot help but smile. Friendship and sacrifice is the moral that your children will derive for themselves so you may want to point out the true point of the show, which many people believe is faith.

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