Progressive Christmas Carols

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VERSES

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
We desire you satisfied vacations, whoever you may be
So cheerful Xmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, or heck all three
We have actually improved these jingles for the enormous bourgeoisie
Love, The Upgraded Carol Team

Santa Condition is Pertaining to Community
You better not evaluate, you far better not dislike
Much better not bully or differentiate
Modern Santa's involving community
He's making a listing of gluten free foods
He will not take a peek at J-Law's nudes
Progressive Santa's pertaining to community
He's 50 different races
As well as all for tax obligation reform
He'll safeguard all your children
Well, as long as they've been birthed

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (reindeer).
Had an advantageous nose (he outlasted his buddies).
He passed his intense red characteristics on (qualities on).
Darwin claimed that's how it goes (evolution's not a theory).

Mary Did You Know.
Mary did you recognize that your baby kid sustains the NRA.
Mary did you recognize that your baby kid is white.

Deck the Halls.
Outdoor deck the halls with kujichagulia.
Kwa wa wanza.
Offer zawadi, hang benderas.
Kwa wa wanza.
Toss your hands up in the air-uh.
Kwa wa wanza.

You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.
You're a green one, Mr. Grinch.
You're lacking in finesse.
That green epidermis determines your success.
Mr. Grinch.
Racist Whos constrict you to the concerns they continue to suppress.
You're an outlier, Mr. Grinch.
You provide the Whos a shock.
They say your heart is 3/5ths regular,.
You're either wrong or white.
Mr. Grinch.
Do not walk the streets of Whoville you may battle a cop the Whos will certainly not arraign.

White .
I'm imagining a racially uncertain holiday.

Away In A Manger.
Away in a manger with Jesus and staff.
His schmeckle got reduced cause hey Christ was a Jew.

O Holy Night.
O holy night, the stars are brightly radiating.
It is the night Jesus did something divine.
Joseph watched golf, his leather chair reclining.
As Mary birthed a child, I believe a donkey was entailed.
3 smart guys came, with GPS they located him.
Christ hinged on a barn, as his omniscient baby-daddy overlooked.
Jesus crept on his knees.
His mother shared it on snapchat.
O bright device!
O evening, when Christ celebrated Christmas.