The Christmas season is upon us, and that means it's time to brave the shopping crowds. But fear not, my fellow holiday warriors! This year, we'll approach the madness with a healthy dose of humor.
1. **On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a gift receipt.** Just in case the item doesn't quite hit the mark or the size is off.
2. **On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… two screaming children.** Because let's face it, shopping with kids is a recipe for chaos.
3. **On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… three wise men bearing coupons.** Oh, the joy of saving a few bucks!
4. **On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… four calling birds.** Or rather, four endless lines at the checkout.
5. **On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… five golden rings.** Or at least, the promise of them if I keep my spending in check.
6. **On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… six geese a-laying.** Or six hours spent wandering the mall aimlessly.
7. **On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… seven swans a-swimming.** Or seven people complaining about my Christmas music playlist.
8. **On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eight maids a-milking.** Or eight sales associates who can't seem to find my size.
9. **On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… nine ladies dancing.** Or rather, nine people trying to squeeze into the same aisle.
10. **On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… ten lords a-leaping.** Or ten people cutting in line in front of me.
11. **On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… eleven pipers piping.** Or eleven people blasting their holiday tunes on their phones.
12. **On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a partridge in a pear tree.** Or a reminder that the holidays are about spending time with loved ones, not just buying stuff.
Remember, folks, Christmas shopping is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself, embrace the humor, and most importantly, keep your sense of joy alive. Happy holidays!